Five months ago I made a goal to find happiness over the next twelve months. I dug deep into my soul and spoke to myself honestly. And in doing so I knew I had yet to find the wholeness I seek. As I sat with myself I laid out in front of me what was missing.
I started exploring my spiritually and what really made me happy and confident. I honestly began to feel better. I found strength in the honesty required of self exploration. I knew what I needed to do and for awhile it was my soul focus to find and ground myself and in doing so my life was beginning to flourish. My dreams were not only being discovered but they were actualizing.
It was the conversations I was having with myself and the universe that were helping me stay focused on the goals at hand.
Only as the months have come and gone I must admit such conversations have lessened. And now I struggle to find reasons to write, to create, and be in all ways productive. While only a couple months ago my creativity seemed limitless.
Moreover, as I sit here on a dark and quiet airplane all too early I know; I must realign myself with the passion and optimism I used to be grounded in. I must take a moment to read back through my own routines and find focus once again. I must relearn my affirmations and make the time for repetition and mediation and most importantly the positive self talk that makes everything possible.
As I look back over my goals for this next year I notice the only two goals I’ve realized are the goals that have been at the center of my focus.
1 - Be in love
2 - Be in a happy and healthy committed relationship
But sitting here now I must admit as happy as I am to have realized such goals the ones that make up the core of who I am, my hopes and dreams, my career and my life path have been sidelined. Therefore, it’s now that I must reinvest in myself and the passions that drive me. As I push forward with someone that fills my heart by my side and friends that have never wavered I am so happy and so hopeful this morning as I reflect on what was and what is to come. My only hope is that I can channel this joy into what is yet to be.